Stop trying to convince me that I am more than a loose collection of animated dust.
Do not tell me there is more to me beyond lifeless flesh.
Do not assert that I have ever done more than just existed throughout the course of my life.
Do not pretend that I have ever accomplished anything besides existing.
Desist from believing I am capable of anything more than mere uncertain existence.
Do not mistake an oasis for an ocean.
Stop deluding yourself before you delude me too.
I have been told, multiple times, that setting goals helps maintain a sense of direction in one’s life, providing things to work towards, and I can see how goals may distract one from the anomie that life can often engender. Goals can serve to bind one to life, whereas inertia can only carry you so far.
With that in mind, I have compiled a list of things to do in the near future, following the completion, and certain failure, of my HSC. At present, they comprise of the following:
- Avoiding sobriety at all costs.
- Getting intoxicated, as a means to the end highlighted above.
- Being stoned, in tandem with the above, or independent of it.
- Reading even more books. This one is likely to be the centre of much of my existence for the next few months. I still have the likes of Chekhov, Turgenev, Kafka, Hugo and other distinguished literary figures to devour, being the insatiably voracious reader I am.
- Attending an art exhibition.
- Spectating an Opera and Classical music recital. The Australian Chamber Orchestra is staging a few performances, many of which I am eager to attend.
- Joining a rally of some sort. (Carolin should know of this.) Just to be in the company of vocal and sweaty people.
Any other suggestions?